Shipping and Returns

Logistics, Classified

Because we produce each artifact on demand, fulfillment timelines differ slightly from traditional retail. We prefer it this way. It prevents excess. It also keeps things interesting.

Production Timeline

All items are made to order.

Estimated production time:
2–5 business days

Apparel, headwear, and drinkware are produced individually once your order is placed. Nothing sits in a warehouse waiting to be adopted.

You order it.
It is produced.
It ships.

Shipping Times

Shipping varies by destination.

United States: 3–7 business days after production
International: 7–21 business days after production (varies by country and customs processing)

Tracking information is provided once the order ships.

Please note: international shipments may be subject to customs duties or import taxes. These are determined by your country and are the responsibility of the recipient.

We do not control customs.
We barely control ourselves.

Multiple Items, Multiple Shipments

Because products may be produced in different facilities, your order may arrive in separate packages.

This is normal.
This is not a conspiracy.

Address Accuracy

Please ensure your shipping address is correct at checkout.

If an item is returned due to an incorrect address, we can reship it — but additional shipping charges will apply.

We cannot redirect packages once they are in transit.

Even classified artifacts have limits.

Returns & Exchanges

Because each item is produced specifically for you, we do not accept returns for: